What is love?
Baby don’t hurt me
Don’t hurt me
If you are of my vintage you will know these lyrics from the 1993 hit song by Haddaay ‘What Is Love’. The thing is, love someimes does hurt. I think we can all testify to that! We’ve all been hurt in love at some point in our lives. Whether it be an unrequited teenage love, or a more devastating hurt within a serious relationship. But loving someone takes patience, and alot of forgiveness.
I remember being at a wedding many years ago and listening to the Father-of-the-bride give his speech. I don’t usually remember wedding speeches, but this one struck me as profound. He said “One of the biggest and first things you need to learn in marriage is forgiveness. Because you will need to be continually forgiving, every single day.” What a great attitude going into a relationship. If we understand that nobody is perfect (not even ourselves), and that we all need forgiveness, I think it would bring so much freedom into our relationships. If we can forgive easily, instead of holding grudges, we ourselves would be happier.
Last night I watched ‘Married At First Sight’ on Channel 9. It fascinates me that someone would be willing to enter a marriage, a covenant of love (which by the way is a life long committment to “forgiveness”), with someone that have NEVER MET! One of the blokes on the show (Dean) isn’t happy with the woman he has been matched up. He publicly declares he wants to leave the “experiment” but then the next day apologises to his new wife and tells her he’s willing to give it a go. In the next breath he tells her “we do things differently in Sydney” and how he’s used to being in “open relationships”. According to Dean being married to just one person could only lead to disappointment, so it’s better to be “open” in relationships. Um, excuse me Dean, didnt you just apply to be on “MARRIED At First Sight”?? I feel terribly sorry for his new wife (who is probably now his ex wife) who went on the show looking for real love.
So what is real love?
In his book ‘The Forgotten Art Of Love’ Cardiologist, professor & scientiest Armin Zadeh describes love for your partner as an art – requiring skills and devotion. Armin says: The “falling-in-love” phase invariably ends after 2-4 years, it is just nature’s way to jump start a relationship. If we think this is love we will inevitably be disappointed. Indeed, there is a peak in the incidence of relationship break ups after 2-4 years. In contrast, love is a lasting, committed state, which requires our active involvement.
When it comes to loving humankind, no-one did it better than Mother Teresa. She said alot of profound things about love that are worth listening to.
Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do… but how much love we put in that action. ~ Mother Teresa
And then of course there is the oldest book on the planet, which ultimatley is all about Love. What does the bible teach us about Love? Love never fails.
So whether you find yourself in a loving relationship or simply loving yourself, we can all do our bit to love others better. After all, it can only enrich our own souls. Happy Valentines Day from me to you x
Love yourself this Valentines Day!